How it all ended & began anew.
The past half year has been an emotional & energetic rollercoaster. Good thing I love these things, though^^
I watched my fire go out.
I felt pressure, the need to control and an utter lack of knowing what the f*ck I'm doing. I had so many ideas. But slowly this thing I like to call shadow-work addiction crept in. "Oh no, what if there is yet another limiting belief - and energetic block - that I have to become aware of? I've consumed so many business coachings that in the end I felt super overwhelmed and was left with a distinct sense of "whatever I take from this - is this gonna be enough?"
Meaning: I didn't know what the f*ck I was doing.
Or "should" do. Or wanted to do. Or HOW IT WAS MY WAY TO DO IT.
Second-guessing everything I did. Hello, undefined Heart center.
So I released pressure.
I released the factor of time. And set a New Moon intention: that I would only follow & indulge in those things that do in fact light up my fire. And so I was pretty much offline. Made so much music with a wonderful Soul Connection of mine. I've felt so many emotions. Had so many revelations. Cracked open so many norms and constructs of society & made a declaration to live by what I know to be true. And yes, it's unconventional. Yes, it may be irritating for some people to accept or process. But change starts somewhere and it's always scary for some people.
I went to a RHCP concert, spontaneously. I watched my aunt die within weeks. I connected with her Soul, though, getting access to another level of consciousness. A realization. I followed Soul Fire and I applied for a job with one of the leaders in our space. Followed Soul Fire without getting stuck in the mindcage but staying in the feeling. And I succeeded. Just as the mooncycle, for which I had set the intention to only follow soul fire, came full circle.
Moon magic is real, peepz. And I love it!
These past couple of weeks I have felt so alive. I have felt so intuitive. I have felt lost. I have felt like I don't know what the f*ck I'm doing. I have felt so connected. To the cosmic. To soul connections and one in particular. To my own magic. And power. I have felt brave and like myself. Confident. I have felt restless. I have felt heartbroken even though I figured out that it was just common reaction drama. I released it.
I have felt love. I have felt gratitude & humility. And Abundance. I have felt the desire to be creative and work and share it with you but felt no fire to do so. Maybe I needed a kickstart. Maybe it was the ominous Generator plateau.
I have felt what it feels like to come face to face with old patterns and have felt them all dissolve into thin air as I shifted more and more into my fully uncovered Self. Where drama has pretty much no chance. I have felt the power of following Soul Fire, trusting completely that indulging in this notion is going to open up the rights paths for me, and everyone involved. I have felt like being suspended in the air. The eerie calm before the storm.
And I have felt like being on the brink.
Because I feel it in my guts that something new is coming. Something life changing. In which areas of my life I don't know. But as I learned to embrace the Unknown instead of focusing on chaos, I am honestly excited about the time ahead. It's an adventure. And I am so along for the ride ;-)
And I know in my heart that all that I am experiencing I am experiencing to inspire you.
Are you along for the right as well? ;-)